The Ring, the Mill, and the Warm Smiles–A Hungarian Couple’s Journey from Engagement to a Tea Gathering in Kyoto
The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door of the house, smiles broke out on the two people’s tense faces. ‘Welcome to Komurasaki An,’ I said, inviting them inside. They were wearing matching wine-colored sweaters that really suited them. They are from Hungary, studied economics at university, and earned their master’s degrees last year. They currently live in Switzerland.
While the two of them were grinding tencha (unpowdered green tea leaves) with a stone mill to make matcha powder, Zsofia started talking about her trip to Nara before coming to Kyoto. “There are so many deer in Nara, and when you feed them, they politely bow their heads to say thank you before eating! They are truly adorable. I just love Nara; I want to go again.” It seemed she had another reason to want to return. “I got my engagement ring from Adam in Nara.” Showing the ring on her left ring finger with a look of pure delight, it must have been a moment she would cherish for a lifetime. Next to her, Adam, who had been grinding the mill, paused and watched her with a warm, gentle smile.
We’d like to get married next year if possible,” Zsofi said, her eyes sparkling. “We want to have the wedding in Hungary, not here in Switzerland where we currently live.” I suppose she wants to have the ceremony in her homeland, where many of her relatives live, and receive blessings from lots of people.
Zsofia then asked, full of curiosity, “Aki, Naoko, you must have had a hard time deciding where to hold your wedding, as Kyoto has so many shrines.” Actually, Naoko and I got married in a Christian church, not a Shinto shrine. We weren’t Christians, but it had always been our dream to have our wedding in a church. It is strange that many Japanese people superficially follow Buddhism, yet they comfortably celebrate their Coming-of-Age ceremony with Shinto rites, their wedding in a Christian church, and their funeral according to Buddhist customs. Truly, the Japanese have a unique and mysterious view of religion.
“How long have you two been married?” Adam asked. “40 years!” Naoko and I replied in unison. Then I added, “Naoko and I have been married for 40 years, and we’ve never had a fight. The secret to our happy marriage is simple: I always obey her, without question!” Adam and Zsofia burst out laughing. Then Zsofia simply said, “Happy wife, happy life!“
May you live happily ever after!
